Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
