So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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