I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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