I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
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i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
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If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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