i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
