on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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