Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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