my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
God, I missed his penis.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
