Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
