Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
