Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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