She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
