Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
