I didn't shave. On purpose
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
