those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
