This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
God I need to hump something, right now.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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