what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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