i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
