I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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