Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
