Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
