She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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