I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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