White coat. Heels.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
