I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
