Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
