problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
