How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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