She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
