Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
