Can Purell be used as lube?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
