Say something about gay babies.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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