dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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