Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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