Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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