Small penises have feelings too.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
