I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize