We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
