Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
