Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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