just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We are two peas in an std pod
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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