should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
