You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
