I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
