Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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