Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
