Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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