Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
