5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
