He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm both gender and math confused
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
