I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So many bounce houses so little time
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
