There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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