never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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