Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
