you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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