Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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