She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
