Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
