Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
