I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
