Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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